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Pitch Black

January 12th, 2009 admin Leave a comment Go to comments

Pitch Black

New Drum Craft DC80620 Series 6 22 Fusion Drum Set w Chrome Hardware
New Drum Craft DC80620 Series 6 22 Fusion Drum Set w Chrome Hardware
Paypal   US $968.16
New Drum Craft DC80630 Series 6 20 Fusion Drum Set w Chrome Hardware
New Drum Craft DC80630 Series 6 20 Fusion Drum Set w Chrome Hardware
Paypal   US $968.16
DrumCraft Series 6 Pitch Black Lacquer Birch Drum Set w Hardware 20 DC806301
DrumCraft Series 6 Pitch Black Lacquer Birch Drum Set w Hardware 20 DC806301
Paypal   US $871.34
DrumCraft Series 6 Pitch Black Lacquer Birch Drum Set w Hardware 22 DC806201
DrumCraft Series 6 Pitch Black Lacquer Birch Drum Set w Hardware 22 DC806201
Paypal   US $871.34
Zildjian PITCH BLACK Collection except 16 Crash
Zildjian PITCH BLACK Collection except 16 Crash
Paypal   US $900.00
Zildjian 22 Pitch Black Ride Cymbal ZPB22R
Zildjian 22 Pitch Black Ride Cymbal ZPB22R
Paypal   US $249.99
CHECK IT OUT BRAND NEW ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT T10
CHECK IT OUT BRAND NEW ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT T10
Paypal   US $195.00
HOW COOL ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT K491
HOW COOL ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT K491
Paypal   US $149.00
ROCK TIL YOU DROP ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT T11
ROCK TIL YOU DROP ZILDJIAN 22 PITCH BLACK RIDE CYMBAL LOT T11
Paypal   US $149.00
Zildjian Pitch Black Mastersound 15 Hi Hat Cymbal Top and Bottom
Zildjian Pitch Black Mastersound 15 Hi Hat Cymbal Top and Bottom
Paypal   US $139.99
Zildjian Pitch Black 22 Ride Cymbal
Zildjian Pitch Black 22 Ride Cymbal
Paypal   US $129.00
Zildjian Pitch Black Crash 20 Ride Cymbal
Zildjian Pitch Black Crash 20 Ride Cymbal
Paypal   US $95.00
ZILDJIAN PITCH BLACK 18 CYMBAL
ZILDJIAN PITCH BLACK 18 CYMBAL
Paypal   US $69.00
Meinl High Pitch Percussion Block Black
Meinl High Pitch Percussion Block Black
Paypal   US $29.99
Meinl Percussion Black High Pitch Block MPE1BK Exc Cond
Meinl Percussion Black High Pitch Block MPE1BK Exc Cond
Paypal   US $29.99
MEINL Percussion Block High Pitch Black MPE1BK ES
MEINL Percussion Block High Pitch Black MPE1BK ES
Paypal   US $29.99
Black Mamba Small Clave Block Low Pitch
Black Mamba Small Clave Block Low Pitch
Paypal   US $25.28
Harris Fast Pitch Electronic Pitch Pipe for Guitar HF EP6 BLACK
Harris Fast Pitch Electronic Pitch Pipe for Guitar HF EP6 BLACK
Paypal   US $6.99

Pitch+Black

A Celebrity Without Sunglasses is Like a Dog Without a Tail

Have you ever wondered why you hardly ever see some celebrities without their sunglasses. It doesn't matter if they're indoors, out at night or in a dingy nightclub. Much like flies on dung they can't be separated. In fact, given the Spears / Hilton incidents of late, celebrities are now more likely to leave home with a pair of shades than with underwear.

Why is this? By delving into the complex and bewildering psyche of the celebrity mind, we try to answer this age-old riddle:

 

  1. So they don't get recognised. You can't expect these poor celebrity types to get recognised by mobs of insane fans every time they go down the local shops can you? It's a scientific fact that human face recognition predominantly focuses on the eyes. Clearly celebrities have researched this fact, and stay incognito by covering up their eyes. They're cleverer than you thought!
  2. So they DO get recognized. There are certain species of celebrity that actually desire attention of passers-by on the street, and use their designer sunglasses to achieve this. Certain celebrities who shall remain unnamed decide to adorn their faces with the most outrageous insect-resembling monstrosities they can get away with. Certain famous figures have even gone as far as making sure they can be recognised simply from a quick glance at their trademark glasses. This latter syndrome is known as the Bono factor, named after the mens glasses icon and aging U2 frontman for his trademark luminous wrap-arounds.
  3. To protect themselves from flash photography. With the celebrity's natural predator, the paparazus (or paparazzi in plural) on the prowl, certain defensive measures have to be taken. These natural enemies are drawn in swarms to the bigger celebrities in particular. The paparazzi's primary offensive weapons are their huge flashes, predominantly used to startle their prey and cause gradual yet irreversible damage to their already ruined eye balls (see number 5 for more details on this). Darwin's theory of evolution explains why celebrities with sunglasses are in fact better equipped to survive and procreate than those without.
  4. To hide their atrocious drunken make up / red eyes / wrinkles. You'd be surpised to know that this is actually done to protect the fans rather than the celebrity. If we were exposed to the true state that celebrity eyes end up in after all night binges and long term sun damage, we'd be so horrified that our entire view of the world would crumble around us. Yes, ladies' glasses of the rich and famous are there for our sake. Take my word for it.
  5. Drugs make the sunlight hurt. Now these guys have a tremendous weight on their shoulders, being role models for the rest of us, and this understandibly takes its toll and results in massive levels of drug abuse. Substances such as tetrahydrocanabinol and opiates cause the pupils to dilate. Mere daylight, even behind a cloud, can cause some serious pain to afflicted celebrities. Think about that next time you tut-tut at celebrity sunglass wearing in ridiculously low light areas.

 

I hope now I've made you think twice before tutting under your breath next time you see a hollywood star sporting ridiculously unneccesary shades in pitch black conditions.

 

Pitch Black (Trailer 2000)

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